Poop

It's 1am. 

Both kids are asleep. 

And, I am awakened by a nasty tummy grumble. 

I grumble back at it and then slink out of bed. 

I don't want to wake the kid up.

Yes, she is in my bed. 

I make it to the bathroom using my cell phone as a flashlight. 

I don't dare turn the light in for fear of awakening big sister. 

I sit. 

'Momma?!'

I must be delirious. Everyone is asleep. She IS asleep, right?

'Mommaaa?!'

No. She woke up. How? I was so quiet. Crap. 

I reply... 'Momma's just going potty. I'll be right back. '

'But, but, but... I have to pee.'

Double crap. Luckily, I haven't (ahem) started. So, I get up off the toilet and let her in. 

After the kid handles her business and I give her another goodnight kiss (all while pinching my cheeks), I plop back down on the toilet. 

Ahhh. 

I give it a few seconds. 

Where is the poop?

Waiting. 

Waiting... 

'Wah!'

Is that the little? 

Silence. 

I must be losing my mind. 

The urge to poop begins to return. 

'Wahhh!'

Ermahgerd! It IS the little. 

I try to poop. Nothing. 

I try some more... 

Nada. 

I leave the bathroom to feed and rock the little to sleep. 

Feeding...

Rocking... 

She falls asleep. 

I put her back in her bed. 

The cat greets me in the hallway. 

She meows. 

It is not a happy meow. 

Three kibbles are missing from her bowl. 

She is displeased. 

I am displeased. 

I go back to the bathroom. 

C'mon, poop!

Waiting... 

No poop. Awesome. 

I decide to go back to bed. 

Of course, the big kid has spread her little body clear across the Queen size bed. 

I nudge her. 

No response. 

I lift her dead weight and return her to 'her side' of the bed. 

I climb in. 

She death rolls into me. 

I have exactly 6 inches of mattress. 

Somehow, I position my body to fit in those 6 inches. 

I guess I am comfortable. 

Then comes the knee in the back. I knew something was missing. 

Goodnight.